I don't know how to quite put my finger on what I am feeling but it is something that is different. First I know I feel blessed beyond belief, I am grateful for everything that I have and most importantly for everybody in my life. My Dale fits me to a "T" and with us when things are good they are very good and when things are bad they are bad. We are on a good streak. We have grown so much in the last year it is amazing. We made it through his hip and back and Em's diagnosis over the last few years but just made it through. This last year we have found each other again, quit just existing and barely making it through and started enjoying each other again. Life is still with challenges but we are standing shoulder to shoulder holding hands. The children are all a joy when I don't have the urge to lock them in the closet. Raising children is a thankless job when they live at home but it is the most rewarding job in the world.
There are so many things that I want / need to do but just don't have the energy. I was so energetic when the kids first started back to school this year thinking I would have all this time to complete things but it seems like I have no energy for any of it. It is all I can do to barely function lately. I am exercising, trying to eat healthier (which some days are better than others) and taking vitamins. I want to be like a bear and hibernate until the warm weather emerges. I keep pushing myself to do the things that must be done and the things that make the kids happy but that is about it. A good friend told me that I have pushed myself so hard and been such an over-achiever for so long that my body is screaming rest. I have no idea if that is true or he is spitting in the wind but..... My to Do-List gets longer everyday but nothing gets marked off, lots get added to it. Mariah just reminded me that I promised her curtains for her room in August. What the heck, who is this person living in my body?
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